sui (sui_001) wrote,

  • Mood:

late night couldn't sleep.

i find myself turning incredibly introspective.
i ave to face the harsh reality that something i never thought to achieve,
something that isn't that bad will be happening soon..

something that i fear to miss, but fear more to embrace.

i am turning 30 in a few months.
i know many 30yr olds, but it's always been a few years off for me.
strangely it's hittin me harder than i expected. it difficult to explain.
and the weirdest thing i find myself thinking is 'i donlt feel 30' heh. i
guess folks, that yes, that';s wot it feels like.. somewere around 24-27 but
with a different label.

i managed to make it here tatto free, 1 peircing, and i have as yet to ever
totally shave my head, so mother should be proud.

i drive a fancy car, and have a great morgage, which i am on top of, so my
father should be proud.

i have a wonderful daughter, who is a happy and outgoing child wth no
obvious trouble in her life yet. so that should make me proud.

sad that i feel remorse for no reason, and sader that i feel sad.


no moral to this story this time i am afraid. - oh aside from the fact i am
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